In this blog post, I share 5 tips for your coaching toolbox as I discuss what makes a good coach as a leader and how you don’t have to and should not know it all.
What Makes a Good Coach as a School or Instructional Leader? (Hint: It’s Not About Knowing Everything!)
Let me start with a confession: I don’t know everything.
As an instructional or school leader, you might feel like you’re expected to have all the answers to every problem that comes up in the classroom or among staff. I know that when I first stepped into principalship as a 28 year old with a lot of insecurity and feeling I had to prove myself that I thought I needed to know it all. But here’s the truth: great coaching doesn’t come from being a walking encyclopedia. Instead, it’s about knowing how to ask the right questions and having the right tools to empower others. It took me a while to learn this but once I did my job became a lot easier.
Think about it—would you rather work with someone who lectures at you or someone who helps you uncover solutions on your own? The best coaches guide their coachees to insights and empowers them, creating the space for growth and discovery. It's less about “fixing” things and more about supporting teachers and leaders in becoming the best versions of themselves. So, if you don’t know it all, congratulations! You’re perfectly positioned to be an amazing coach.
Let’s talk about a few strategies you can keep in your coaching toolkit:
1. Lead with Curiosity, Not Control
Good coaches don’t assume they know the answer right away. Instead, they ask open-ended questions that get teachers and leaders thinking. “What’s working well for you?” or “How might this approach benefit your students?” These types of questions help coachees reflect on their own practices, rather than feeling like they’re being told what to do. And remember, a well-timed eyebrow raise can be more effective than any long-winded explanation.
2. Embrace the Power of Silence
Here’s a tough one, especially for those of us who love to talk (guilty!). But silence is golden in coaching conversations. It can be super uncomfortable especially when starting out a coaching relationship or establishing a coaching culture. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is ask a question and then… wait. Give people the space to process, reflect, and come to their own conclusions. You’d be surprised how many “aha” moments happen when you’re not the one filling the silence. Coaching educators is just like working with our students in the classroom and providing adequate wait time.
3. Use the Right Tool for the Job
Just like teachers need different strategies for different students, coachees need different tools based on where they are in their journey. One size definitely doesn’t fit all. That’s why the key to effective implementation of any professional learning initiative is coaching that supports initial training. Whether it's guiding a teacher through a new instructional practice or helping a leader prioritize initiatives, having a variety of coaching frameworks, feedback models, and reflective tools in your back pocket can be a game changer. It’s kind of like being Inspector Gadget — but with lesson plans instead of gadgets.
4. Celebrate Progress, No Matter How Small
We all know education is a marathon, not a sprint. So when your coachee makes a tiny step forward, celebrate it! Give them a shout-out, high five, a gold star, or cue the confetti. Acknowledging growth keeps motivation high and helps build a trusting relationship where the coachee feels supported rather than judged.
5. Be Vulnerable, Too
Coaching is a two-way street. You’re not there to be the “perfect” leader who has all the answers. Sometimes sharing your own challenges, learning moments, and even mistakes can create a stronger bond and show that growth is ongoing. It’s okay to say, “You know what, I’m still figuring that out myself,” followed by, “Let’s figure it out together.” Vulnerability is strength, not weakness—and it’s a great way to model continuous learning. I can remember throughout the whole pandemic how I felt like I had turned a corner with some of the staff that I worked with that were a little harder to work with than some others and i believe it was because of my own personal vulnerability. I had only been at my school a little over a year when COVID hit. Not all of my team had fully bought into me yet. But, as the world was seemingly falling apart and we were reinventing school as the plane was in the sky, I was always very transparent and got vulnerable with them. I can remember in particular a time where I literally broke into tears sharing a slideshow of pictures from “normal” times and how seeing that “raw” side of me helped some of the staff that had walls up with me let them come down. My self admittance of not knowing it all and letting them see me in complete vulnerability changed dynamics.
Remember, coaching is less about knowing and more about empowering. The best coaches aren’t always the most knowledgeable, but they’re the ones who can spark curiosity, foster growth, and help others find their own way. Keep asking those powerful questions, celebrate the wins (big and small), and trust that you’re making an impact—even if you don’t have all the answers.
And if all else fails, just channel your inner Yoda: “Coach, you must.” 😉
As you coach your people this week, remember you don’t need to be an expert in everything. You just need to know how to empower others to become the experts in themselves. Happy coaching!
Ready to invest in yourself as a leader by having a thought partner and coach for yourself? Or are you ready to invest in those you lead by providing them with a coach? I’d love to be the one to empower you or your people as your new coach. Schedule a FREE Discovery Call with me today!
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